Finding Myself
by BlaizeC
Summary: Follow Bella as she rediscovers who she really is, as she helps a certain vampire overcome the troubles of his past. OOC. Rated M for language and adult situations.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! Blaize here! This is the first fan fiction I've taken a stab at, so constructive criticism only, please. No flames. If you don't like it, don't read it. Plain. Simple. It will be a Jasper/Bella fanfic, I promise, but it will take some time. I honestly have no idea where this is going, so if you have any ideas, feel free to let me know. ^-^;

Oh, anything Twilight related isn't mine, I'm not getting money for this, blah blah blah….On with the story!

Pain. Loss. Anger. Anger above all. How dare he? I gazed at my surroundings, seeing nothing but trees and puddles of water. Was it raining? I looked down at myself, seeing the mud smeared on my arms and clothes. My jeans had a few holes torn into them. Why didn't I remember that happening? I reached up and ran my hand through my hair, finding it damp with rain. So, it had, in fact, been raining. What happened? Did I pass out? The last thing I remember was Edward running off after proclaiming he didn't love me anymore. Jerk. I run my ass to Italy, save his sparkly ass from certain death, and he leaves me a few weeks later? I was beyond floored. I should have let his ass perish in Italy. Our relationship had been going down the toilet anyway. I scooted back to the nearest tree trunk, and pulled my legs up to my chest.

As I looked back, I realized our relationship had been very unhealthy. I was constantly being controlled by him, bending to his wishes. I mean, I'm no dominant woman to begin with, but he took it to far. He got off somewhere molding me into what he thought was the perfect girl, which I was originally far from. I lost myself being with him. I didn't know who I was anymore. The clothes I wore, the attitude I had; hell, even my food choices weren't mine. The person I really was, was buried somewhere deep inside myself, and it was time to pull her out. The real me wouldn't have put up with Edward's shit to begin with. Now that I think about it, why did I fall under Edward's spell to begin with? To be honest, I didn't really know him. The real him. What his likes and dislikes were, what he had wanted to accomplish in his life before he was turned, what drove him to keep on going in his existence as a vampire. No, I didn't know him at all. I suppose it was better to figure this all out now, than to have been turned and stuck in an eternity alone.

I looked up, and could see the moon shining through the treetops, a bright beacon of hope. I looked around, trying to decide the best course of action for getting out of the forest. I stood up on shaky legs, and took a deep breath. After walking a few steps forward, I saw the outline of the trail back to my house. I began walking back, carefully avoiding tree roots and fallen trunks.

I finally emerged from the forest, and my house came into view. Charlie wasn't home yet. I breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't that I didn't love Charlie, it was just that he overreacted at times, and this would have been one of those times. He would never know what really happened this past year regarding the Cullens. He couldn't. He would be killed.

Suddenly, the promise I had made to the Volturi came crashing back to me. How was I supposed to uphold my end of the bargain I made to save Edward's ass? I didn't want to live eternity alone. The sole reason I wanted to be turned was to be by Edward's side. Now that that wasn't a possibility, I wanted no part in eternity. I suppose I would just have to tell them, if they ever came looking, that Edward abandoned me, therefore taking away my ability to uphold my end. I snorted. I could just see myself, standing up to the rulers of the vampire world, trying to correct them. I would get myself killed. Well, Edward would be punished right along with me, seeing as how it would be solely his fault. Serves his sparkly ass right.

I tried the front door, surprise flooding me when I found it unlocked. Oh, sure, just leave my house completely unlocked, just waiting for some thief to wander by and take all of mine and Charlie's possessions. Stupid vampire. He didn't care about me at all. I was better off without him. I walked inside and flipped the lights on, shrugging off my jacket and throwing it haphazardly on the floor next to the door. I took the stairs two at a time up to my room, wanting to get into the shower before Charlie got home.

I opened the door to my room, and could immediately tell someone had been in there. I looked closer and noticed that all the pictures I had of the Cullen family were gone. Everything Edward had given me had disappeared, also. I opened my closet, and all the clothes that Alice had forced on me were missing, too. I wasn't so upset that the clothes were missing, they weren't my style anyway. But, how dare he sneak into my room and take my property? I punched my pillow, needing to get rid of some of my anger. I didn't really want any of it anyway, I probably would have thrown it out myself. I didn't want to be reminded of the family who loved me and left me, or the manipulative jerk I dated. I didn't want to be reminded of the fate I had so nearly escaped. It was the fact that he tried to make sure I wouldn't remember them. That he didn't give me that choice. I should have been used to that now, him not giving me a choice. I shook my head, and grabbed my bag of toiletries.

I stepped into the warm stream of the shower, and sighed happily. I hadn't realized how cold I was until I was surrounded with the warm steam that was floating around the bathroom. I took my time shampooing my hair and washing my body, relaxing in the process.

I heard the front door slam, and a tentative voice yell out "Bells?". I knew it was Charlie, home late from the station. I yelled back that I would be down in a minute to fix dinner, and stepped into the chill air. I pulled on a pair of sweats and a black tank top, and pulled my long mahogany hair into a ponytail. I threw by bag back into my room, and headed downstairs to greet Charlie.

I found him in the kitchen, sitting at the table, looking like he was expecting dinner. My face fell. "Sorry Dad, I've had a busy afternoon, and I haven't even started on dinner yet." I explained as I started pulling ingredients for spaghetti out of the cabinets. I really did feel bad for not having dinner ready for him when he got home, it was the least I could do for him.

"It's no problem Bells, I understand. I'm glad I have you around to cook for me. I am grateful, I hope you know that." He smiled. I nodded, knowing he was in fact appreciative.

Before long we were sitting down enjoying the spaghetti I made, and talking idly about our day. I decided now would be a good time to bring up Edward.

"Hey, Dad, I have something I need to tell you." I started, looking down at my plate.

His eyes grew wider. "You're not pregnant now, are you Bells? I'll kill that Cullen boy if you are. I'll help you raise the baby, that Edwin kid doesn't seem like he could be a very good father." He did look murderous. Although, it's not like Edward would have anything to worry about, even if he had somehow managed to get me pregnant, which was of course and impossibility.

"No, of course not, Dad. Calm down. I'm not pregnant." Charlie seemed to relax at that. "In fact, Edward and I aren't together anymore. He broke up with me this afternoon. Carlisle got a job offer somewhere else that was too good to turn down, and him and the entire family left." I hated lying for them.

"Oh." He looked apologetic for his outburst. "I'm sorry, Bells. How are you holding up?"

I smiled. "I'm absolutely fine. Our relationship probably wouldn't have lasted very much longer anyway. Our relationship wasn't healthy to begin with. I'm actually sort of relived he broke up with me." And I was. I didn't realize how unhappy I was until he left me.

Charlie looked surprised. "Well, I'm glad you're moving on. I was worried there for a second that you wouldn't take it so well. He wasn't good for you, anyway. Maybe you could give poor Jacob a chance now that you're single." With that, he got up and wandered into the living room to watch some baseball game. I smiled. I knew Charlie cared for me, he just didn't know how to show it.

I stood and began to clear the table. I had just finished setting everything in the sink when Charlie came back into the kitchen. "I'll take care of it Bells, you've had a hard day, and you've got school in the morning. You go on up to your room, and rest up." I smiled and thanked him, and went quietly up to my room.

I grabbed my toothbrush, and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I was brushing, I examined myself in the mirror. I looked innocent, more innocent than I was. My wide, chocolate brown eyes paired with my long mahogany hair, and high cheekbones gave me a childish appearance. My bottom lip was stuck in a constant pout, adding to the effect. That appearance would have to change. Now.

I grabbed a set of scissors out of the cabinet, and set to work on my hair. I chopped it into a punkish bob, the bottom of my hair reaching the bottom of my neck. I cut my bangs so that they would sweep over my left eye, my hair parting on the extreme right side of my head. I cut choppy layers into it, then grabbed some hair gel. I squeezed some into my palm, and ran it all through my hair, giving it a tousled look. I examined the hairstyle in the mirror. It looked absolutely perfect. I pondered if I should dye it while I worked on my make-up. I grabbed my rarely used eyeliner and started to heavily line my eyes, a few sweeping lines extending past my eye. Next I grabbed some dark-brown eyeshadow, and applied that. I smiled, my eyes looked great. I applied some red lipstick, and stepped back to look at how everything looked together. I looked fuckhot. The innocent look was lost, an edgy look in its place. I loved it. I wasn't sure what Charlie's reaction would be, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I realized I would have to take another shower in the morning to get rid of the gel and hair pieces I had cut, so I quickly washed my face, and crawled into bed. Today marked the beginning of a new Isabella Swan; and I couldn't be happier.

Whelp, there ya go! First chapter down! The next chapter will probably be about the Cullens and all the drama going on over there. Until next time!

-Blaize


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there! Blaize again! Here is Chapter Two. Thank you to all who added this story to their alerts/favorites. Oh, and the people who reviewed! Please no flames, I realize the characters are quite OOC, but if you don't like it, you don't have to read it. Like I said last time, Anything Twilight it Stephanie Meyer's, and I'm getting nothing out of this…blah blah blah. On with the story!

JPOV:

I was upstairs in my study, reading an old civil war journal. It was where I had spent most of my time since the accident. Everyone had been feeling animosity and shame towards me, and I was getting really tired of it. They didn't even give me a chance to explain myself. They didn't see what I saw. I saved Isabella's life that night. No one had noticed how Edward was about to take a bite out of her. They didn't know what he was feeling. There was no doubt about it, he was going to kill her. I was actually lunging for Edward, about to knock him away from Bella, but no one saw that. I had complete control of my bloodlust, more so than the rest of the Cullens. Stupid Yankees. They could have killed Bella, doubting me like they did. I still wondered why Alice hadn't seen that happening. She should have seen it the moment she decided to wrap Bella's gift.

Sadly, I couldn't question Alice, because she had been avoiding me like the plague. I hadn't talked to her since that fateful night. Memories of that night came flooding back to me.

"Damn it, Jasper! You could have killed her! What were you thinking? Oh, right, you weren't! You've gone and royally fucked everything up, now!" Alice screamed up at me, her hands on her hips.

"Alice, I…"

"Don't even try, Jasper Whitlock! There is no making up for this! Go hunt. Now."

"Fine. Don't expect me back for a couple of hours. Don't come looking for me, either." I ran into the forest that surrounded the house. Alice's actions took me off guard. She shouldn't have been able to talk to me that way. Mated women don't order their men around. Men were naturally the dominant one in the relationship. It didn't matter how dominant the woman thought she was, once she entered a mated relationship, it was just natural for the man to take the lead. It wasn't as though the women got ordered around and abused, but the man was the main decision maker, with input from his mate.

Maybe Alice and I weren't really mates. She had been the dominant one in our relationship since the beginning, back in that old diner. It just wasn't heard of.

I found myself in a large meadow. There were tiny poppies poking out of the grass, so many in fact, that it seemed like I was wading in a red ocean. I sat down in the middle of the meadow, and looked up at the sky. It was beautiful. The deep midnight blue was dotted with tiny specks of light, too many to count. The moon hung high in the sky, a bright beacon of hope. I couldn't help but feel like, somewhere, someone important was looking at the very same moon. The light breeze blew across my face and through my hair. It was a very comforting feeling, I was completely at peace.

After a while sitting in the meadow, I stood up, resigning to the fact I did need to hunt. I sighed. I hated this 'vegetarian' lifestyle the Cullens forced upon me. It was completely stupid to ignore your natural food source. Whatever God there was, obviously didn't mind if we took a few of the unruly humans, or he/she wouldn't have made us like this. I shook my disdain from my head, and took off after a meal.

I had arrived home to silence and feelings of spite. "What, no 'Welcome home Jasper, have a nice squirrel?'' Emmet almost cracked a smile, until Rose smacked him upside his head. His mask of indifference quickly returned. Once I realized everyone was going to continue to give me the cold shoulder, I went to my study, and that's where I've been since.

I knew I needed to talk to Alice about us not being mates, but I really dreaded that conversation. Hell, she probably knew about it already, and just wanted to punish me for 'behaving badly' at Bella's party. I shook my head. I was whipped. I was the infamous Major of the Southern Vampire Wars. How dare a little pixie belittle me, and order me around! I tossed my book to the table, and went in search of Alice.

I found her in the living room, talking to Esme about some new fashion line. I rolled my eyes. "Alice, we need to talk."

"Not now, Jasper, I'm talking to Mom about this really pretty new line. I'll talk to you later about whatever it is you want." She brushed me off.

Oh hell no. "Alice. Now. I wasn't asking. This is important."

"If it was that important, I would have seen it. Now I said I'll talk to you later."

She was just proving the point I was going to make. I walked over, picked her up by the back of her neck, much like a mother cat does to her young. She started wailing at me to put her down. I calmly walked outside and ran out of earshot of the house.

When I found a suitable spot, I dropped her on the ground.

"What the hell, Jasper! You don't just pick me up and carry me off! I was in the middle of a conversation!" She yelled as she picked herself up and brushed herself off.

I raised an eyebrow. "Alice, are we really mates? Because I don't think we are. Your stunt back there proved it."

She sighed and looked away. I felt sadness coming off of her. "I suppose it's as good of a time to tell you as any. No, Jas, we aren't. I swear, I saw us as mates when I found you at that diner, but something happened along the way. I didn't mean to trail you long, or anything. I just couldn't find a good time to tell you. And, I didn't think you would believe me if I told you that it had changed. I knew you would figure it out sometime. I figured it best you find out yourself." She poked the ground with the toe of her shoe, and suddenly became very interested in the dirt beneath our feet.

"I understand. I probably wouldn't have believed you if you told me. I'll get the divorce papers drawn up." I sighed. Well, at least there wouldn't be anything tying me to the family anymore. Maybe I could pick up my natural diet. My mouth watered with venom at the thought.

"There's no need. I've got them right here." She surprised me by pulling out a set of divorce papers. "I knew this was coming." She tapped her head. I smirked at that.

I read through it quickly. She didn't try to take anything of mine, my bank account would be left untouched, all my properties would stay mine. I signed it easily. It could have gone worse.

Alice took them from me once I finished. "Ill file these tomorrow, and you'll be a free man, Mr. Whitlock." She said with a wink. Free. I could do anything I wanted.

"We need to get home, though, Jasper. Edward is going to want to talk to the family when he gets back from Bella's." I sighed. The drama that followed that boy was astounding.

We were all waiting in the living room when Edward came flying into the house. I sighed. Here it comes.

"Everyone, we have to leave as soon as possible. I've ended my relationship with Isabella. It is absolutely too dangerous for us to be around her. Who knows when another incident like what happened on her birthday could happen again." He looked pointedly at me. He knew that I knew. He was challenging me to speak up. I took the chance.

"Everyone, I think you all should know the truth." I stood. Edward would learn to not challenge the Major. It was a stupid mistake.

"It wasn't me who was threatening Bella's life. It was Edward. He would have taken a bite out of her if he wasn't shaken out of his bloodlust." I tested the emotions swirling around me. Disbelief. Anger. Fuck. They didn't believe me. Of course Carlisle and Esme wouldn't, Edward was their golden child who could do no wrong. I didn't know why I tried. I was no secret I was the black sheep of the family, who got blamed for everything. I sighed. They seemed to forget I could read emotions so easily. So much for the amazing accomplishment that was the vampire memory system.

"Jasper, how could you lie like that? It was obvious that you were going to attack her, not Edward. How dare you blatantly lie like that?" Carlisle was appalled.

I started to speak up, about to remind them of my empathy, when I was surprised by another voice jumping to my defense. "Well, Carlisle, if you would pull your head out of your ass, and realize that Edward isn't the golden boy you think he is, you would realize that Jasper here isn't lying." Rose shocked the hell out of the entire family.

"Rose? You saw it too?" I asked, surprised. I was even more surprised she would go against the family to stand up for me.

"Of course. Edward's eyes were as black as coal. She was his singer, it's easy to understand if you think about it. I'm sure you could feel his emotions, Jasper, and that you acted like you should have."

"No. I refuse to believe that. Edward wouldn't have done anything to injure Isabella like that. He has more self-control than that. She has bled around him before, and he wasn't going to kill her then." Carlisle was hardheaded.

"It's not a question of who did it, but rather that it happened, so we must stay out of her life." Edward said, exasperated. "We have to move. Tonight. Just grab whatever you absolutely need, and we will leave." To be honest, I was surprised he could make the decision to move the family. Just who is the leader in this coven, Carlisle, or Edward? Carlisle really needs to learn how to stand up against the golden child.

"No, Edward. I'm not going anywhere. I can't decide what the rest of ya'll do, but I'm not leaving Forks. I happen to like it here." I wasn't going to pick my ass up and follow behind him like a dog.

"But, Jasper, don't you want to follow Alice? She's going with us." Esme asked, worried. She hated the thought of leaving any of her 'children' behind. Alice had, in fact, already went upstairs and started packing. She must have seen Edward get his way. I sighed.

"Actually, Alice and I aren't together anymore. To be honest, there isn't anything tying me to ya'll anymore. I just really like Forks. It's nice to be able to go out in the daytime without worrying about my sparkly ass." Esme looked offended I had cussed in front of her. I didn't really care. I was done with their controlling asses.

"Well, okay then, I suppose. Just try not to get into any trouble, okay?" In other words, stick to the diet like a good boy.

"I can't promise anything." I smirked.

Carlisle, always the diplomat, told me I could stay in the house as long as I liked, and that I would always be a son to him in his eyes, no matter if I was living with the family or not. It was a nice gesture, and I sincerely thanked him.

The rest of the family went to pack, while Edward pulled me aside. "Stay away from her, Jasper. That's an order. I'm not messing around." He tried to look menacing. It didn't really work for him. He looked more like a petulant child who didn't get his way. Huh. Fitting.

Ha. He was ordering me around? How fucking dare he. Did he know who the fuck I was? I smirked. "Sorry, I don't take orders from a pansy ass like you." I honestly hadn't thought anything about Bella, not really. I just wanted to ruffle Edward's feathers a bit. He glared at me, but said nothing else. He probably saw that I wasn't thinking about going and taking a bite out of Bella.

I went upstairs to take a shower. I still had to keep up with appearances, and go to school tomorrow. It was a stipulation from Carlisle if I was going to stay in Forks. It's not like I really had anything else to do. Maybe I would call Peter and Charlotte and have them swing by. I haven't seen that fucker in ages.

After I took my shower, I found that the family had already left. Good riddance.

I walked over to my closet, and searched for something to wear. All the clothes Alice had bought had been boxed up, and put at the back. On top of the nearest box was a note that said 'I figured you'd want to go back to your old style. You're welcome'. I looked closer, and all my old clothes were hung in its place. "Good, I won't have to look like a prep who just walked out of an Abercrombie ad." It really was a nice gesture, though. I pulled on a pair of worn jeans, a white undershirt with a plaid button down over it. I decided to leave the button down unbuttoned, and pulled on my favorite pair of boots. I sighed happily, feeling more comfortable in my old clothes. "Out with the new, in with the old." I laughed at the twisted expression. I decided to pick back up the book I was reading, and read until morning.

Well? Did you like it? I didn't want a whole lot of drama with Alice and Jasper, because Jasper doesn't seem like the drama type. Anyway, you should leave me a nice review. ^-^

-Blaize


	3. Chapter 3

Hey Guys! Chapter Three is here! I can't promise that I'm going to be able to keep updating this quickly, as AP tests are coming up, and the senior year of high school can be hectic enough as it is…but I promise not to keep you all waiting too long! Reviews story alerts/ favorites help. So review! As usual, characters aren't mine, not getting anything out of this, blah blah blah… On with the story!

I awoke to my alarm going off. I quickly got up pressed the little off button to quiet the incessant beeping. I really hated the noise that thing made. I was actually excited to get to school today. I couldn't wait to see the reactions I got from my new look. I quickly got in the shower, rinsing out all of last night's hair gel. I was amazed at how little shampoo I needed to use. I quickly washed everything else, and got out, drying myself off. I started doing my makeup like I had last night, my hair drying completely in the process. I fixed my hair like I had last night, everything turning out just as well as it had previously. I was ecstatic. I flew into my room and opened my closet, trying to figure out the perfect outfit to go with everything else. Where was that annoying pixie when you needed her? I pulled a short red skirt out of the bottom of my closet, and grabbed a black tank top. With a little more digging, I found some knee-high black boots that Renee had given me to complete the outfit. I was about to close the closet when I saw my black leather trench coat hanging in the back. Another present from Renee. I decided to grab that too, seeing as how you never knew when it was going to start raining in Forks. I got dressed quickly, and took a deep breath. I went and stood in front of the mirror I had in my room. I looked awesome! The tank top showed off my chest nicely, and the skirt and boots made my legs look hot. I grabbed a red ribbon I had laying on my dresser and tied it around my neck, making a choker out of it. The outfit was complete. I smiled at my reflection. Forks High wouldn't know what hit them.

I walked downstairs and grabbed a granola bar for breakfast. Charlie was already gone for work, which was probably a good thing; he probably wouldn't have let me out of the house. Realizing I was running late, I decided to eat on the way to school. I threw on my coat, leaving it open, and headed out the door, locking up the house behind me.

The ride to school was uneventful, as always. I pulled into a parking spot at school, after wasting five minutes looking for one. I grabbed my messenger bag that held my books, and headed to my first hour.

The looks I was getting didn't surprise me. There were catcalls and wolf whistles from both males and females. Now that I wasn't expecting. I ducked my head slightly, a blush creeping up my cheeks. I shook my head, and raised my head up, a sexy smirk plastered on my face. No more shy Bella. I was done with that. That wasn't who I was anymore. This is who I was now. The edgy chick who spoke her mind, and didn't take shit off of anyone.

"Daaaaaamn Bella…what happened to you? Not that I'm complaining." Mike was basically eye-raping me. I rolled my eyes.

I shrugged. "I felt like I needed something new, so I decided to change up my style a bit."

"A bit? Girl, you are a totally different person. Bella doesn't fit you anymore. Can I call you Izzy? You look more like an Izzy now." I shrugged. I hadn't thought about changing my nickname, I had gone by Bella my entire life.

"Sure, why not? Might as well get rid of that, too."

"So, how is Cullen reacting to your little change of style?"

I laughed out loud. "That's hilarious. I'm not with him anymore. Him and his family moved, Carlisle got a job offer somewhere. I didn't ask where."

Mike's eyebrows knitted together. "But, one of them is still here. The blonde guy…Jasper I think his name is." My heart sunk.

"You're sure, Mike? If you're fucking with me, I'm going to kick your ass." Mike looked surprised at my language, but smirked. "Damn, you have a mouth on you. I'm positive it was him. Although, he did look different. He wasn't dressed in the designer clothes that are signature to the Cullens." An obvious tone of jealously colored his last statement. " But I'm absolutely sure it was him."

I shrugged. So what if one of them was still here? It's not like I was close to Jasper or anything. The first bell rung then, and I waved goodbye to Mike. I walked slowly to first hour, keeping an eye out for Jasper.

The first four classes of the day drug on. I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched. I mean, I knew I was being looked at because of my new look, which was very extreme compared to the usual small town jeans and a tee shirt attitude Forks had. Hell, the girls probably didn't even know they could get any other piercing done besides the standard earlobe. I added that to my to do list. I've always wanted a tongue piercing. But this was a different kind of watched. An 'I'm totally stalking you' feeling. I shook my head, I was probably just being paranoid.

I doodled on the front of my notebook, completely ignoring Mr. Hunter, my English teacher. Honestly, it was the last class before lunch, he really couldn't have expected to get us to pay attention much. I smirked as I drew a little cartoon vampire, fangs and all. It was very stereotypical, it had on a little suit with a hooded cape. I shook my head. I'm sure this was some type of coping mechanism, but the little chibi was adorable, anyway.

I didn't have time to ponder it long, as the bell rung shortly after my doodle was completed. I jumped up from my desk and roughly shoved everything back into my bag. I realized then that I didn't really have anyone to sit with at lunch. I had pretty much alienated everyone when I was dating that excuse of a man. I sighed. It would be a long lunch period.

Not feeling particularly hungry, I found an empty table near the back of the cafeteria. I pulled out my beaten up music player and shoved the earbuds in my ears. I hoped the steady flow of music would drown out the hum of chatter that was going on around me. I wasn't so lucky. My eyes snapped to the doors into the cafeteria, drawn there by someone entering. That's when I saw him. He was dressed in worn jeans, a white undershirt, and a plaid button up, left unbuttoned. I looked lower. Fuck me, he was wearing cowboy boots. I shook my head. I did not find Jasper attractive. At all. Whatsoever. He was one of _them._

He raised an eyebrow, and started searching through the body of students as if looking for the source of something. Shit. Empath. I seemed to have forgotten that snippet of information. Well, damn it all to hell. It was no use hiding, he would have found me eventually. I decided I might as well have fun with it. I sent him a ton of lust, knowing he would pick up on it, making his search slightly easier. It didn't take long for him to find my hiding spot. He looked unsure if he should approach me or not. I wouldn't be having any of that. I felt like seriously messing with his head. I bit my lower lip slightly, and raised my index finger, moving it in a 'come hither' motion. He smirked and cocked his head slightly, as if wondering if I was really telling him what to do.

I nodded my head, the sexy smirk I was making earlier made another appearance. He gave a smirk of his own and came to sit at my little table. I took the earbuds out of my ears.

"Well hey there Miss Bella. I see you've changed a bit. I must say, you look good enough to eat." He winked at me, showing he was kidding. And, was that an accent? Southern, I think. When the hell did that make an appearance? He grabbed a chair and turned it around, sitting on it backwards.

"Oh? Well, you look pretty edible yourself. I don't remember you ever wearing anything like that with those stuck up Cullens. It suits you, Cowboy." And it did. It suited him very well.

"So it was you that little burst of lust came from. Not that I'm complaining. It's nice to feel wanted every once in a while."

Wanted.

The entire conversation that happened between Edward and I came rushing back, previously forgotten. He said he didn't want me. That the human mind was like a sieve, and that I would forget him. That he would find something to distract him, and that he would forget me, too.

My little bout of confidence was gone. Diminished. I vaguely noted Jasper staring intently at me, his head turned to the side. Probably wondering what was with my sudden change in emotions.

"Bella, stop. Stop the insecurity. Stop the doubt. The feeling of not being wanted. I don't know what he said to you, or what happened, and I really don't give a flying fuck. He was lying. You're and incredible woman. And trust me, there are plenty of men at this school who want you. I've been wondering what the hell was up with all the lust permeating the air today."

I shook my head. He was right. This was ridiculous. I had more evidence now that my insecurities were unfounded now than ever. My stunt today proved that. My confidence came rushing back to me as quickly as it left.

"Better now?" He said with a smirk.

I nodded vacantly. "So, you the only one left? Kind of rude of them to pick up and leave you behind. Alice has to be worried. Not that I really care about that annoying little pixie." But how could she just leave him behind?

"Actually, I don't really care about her either. The bitch knew we weren't mates anymore, and she decided to let me figure it out myself." He was looking down at his hands that were clasped in front of him.

I raised an eyebrow at that. "She just let you figure it out? Was that not awkward for her?" How could she just string him along like that? And how did he not notice the change in his emotions? I was thoroughly confused.

"Yep. Her emotions had been a little different, but I just accounted it to stress or an upcoming vision. I never thought it had anything to do with me." He didn't really seem sad about it. I was happy he wasn't sad. Sad didn't suit him.

"So, you never answered one of my questions. Are you the only one still here?" I asked, hoping he answered in the affirmative.

He nodded. "Sorry, darlin'. I'm the only vampire left. Well, aside from that little drawin' on your notebook, there. Which is highly stereotypical, by the way. I'm offended. A cape? I don't think I could pull off a cape." It was obvious he wasn't really offended.

I snickered. "You should try sometime. Who knows, you might be the next Vlad."

The bell chose that time to ring. I was more sad than I should be to leave. I stood to gather my things, and I found that Jasper was already next to me. He touched my hand lightly, that was resting on my bag. I gasped softly, it felt like there was an electric current running between us. It felt like there was something physically pulling me closer to him. If I hadn't been able to see him, I would have sworn Jasper was pulling me closer to him. I looked up to Jasper's face, and shock was coloring his features. He shook his head, and dropped my hand.

"Bella, I haven't gotten a chance to tell you what really happened on your birthday." I tried to stop him, but he just kept on going. "Edward was going to kill you, I wasn't attacking you. I was lunging for Edward. I was more in control that night than I had been before. Spending that time with you in Phoenix helped me get over that. I really hope you believe me." He looked so pained, I had no choice but to believe him.

"I know, Jasper. I didn't blame you, even before I knew the whole story. If, anything, it's my fault for slicing open my finger in a room full of vampires. I trust you. I know you won't take a bite out of me." I said with a wink, hoping to lighten the mood.

He nodded and turned to go to his fifth hour. "I'll see you tomorrow, Izzy." He said with a wink.

I nodded and walked to government in a daze.

He wanted to see me tomorrow.

Chapter Three, down! Leave me a nice review, they make me want to write!

-Blaize


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Yes, I realize this is waay longer than any of the other chapters, but it didn't feel right to cut off Bella's POV, and dive into Jasper's, but it also didn't feel right to put Jasper's as its own chapter…so…Here's a treat! Oh, and thanks for all the nice reviews! As usual, I don't own anything, I'm not getting any money for this, blah blah…On with the story!

BPOV:

The rest of the day passed without my noticing. I vaguely remember Jessica attempting to talk to me in last period about some girl who was supposedly pregnant, but I just couldn't force myself to put up with her.

"Jessica, to be totally honest, I don't really care if anyone is pregnant, and I think it's really fucking pathetic that you have so little of a fucking life that you have to go around talking about someone else's." I snapped.

Looking over, I saw that her mouth was hanging open, completely shocked. Once she realized I was looking, he huffed and turned to look at the teacher, feigning interest in the lecture. I shrugged. I never really liked her anyway, she seemed to push herself on me. I sunk back into my thoughts until the bell rang.

I took my time gathering my stuff and putting everything in my bag, not really wanting to go home. I wandered out into the parking lot, finding myself to be one of the last few there. I glanced around before I could stop myself, looking for the blonde haired man who occupied my thoughts so often this afternoon. I was more disappointed than I should have been when I found him gone with the majority of the student body.

I threw my stuff in the cab of my old truck, and turned the key to make it roar to life. I'm going to need a new car before I head off to college, I thought. College. I hadn't even given a thought to what I wanted to study, expecting to not have to live much longer in society. My mind raced, trying to figure out what I was most interested in. I thought it over as I drove, my mind only partially on where I was going. I came to a decision as I pulled up to the little white house I called home; I would study history. I had always made good grades in the class; actually being able to pay attention to the lecture. The subject really interested me, and I could maybe become a teacher or a museum archivist. I couldn't really see myself as a teacher, though. Museum archivist it was, then.

I climbed out of my truck, trudging up the sidewalk and into the house. I flipped on the lights, and tossed my bag and jacket down beside the door. Deciding I had better change before Charlie got home, I went upstairs and changed into a pair of sweatpants.

Shortly after I arrived home, Charlie came home from work. He freaked out over my new haircut.

"Bells! What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking? How could you do that to your hair? What would your mother think? What if you had messed it up? You would have had to gone around looking like a freak! No daughter of mine will go around looking like a freak!" His face was starting to turn an interesting shade of red.

I sighed. I was hoping he would take it in stride. I guess my hope was unfounded. "Dad, calm down. I just needed a change. That's all. My hair will grow back. Also, my mother probably would have helped me cut it, knowing her." I flopped down on the couch, hoping he would let it go. Charlie just scratched the back of his head, mumbled an apology, and wandered into the kitchen to grab something to drink.

I sighed, happy he gave up the argument. I figured, though, that I had better make myself scarce until he got used to it. "I'm heading up to my room, Dad. I'll be down to fix dinner in a while." I yelled into the kitchen, on my way upstairs.

Once inside my room, I found myself at a loss of what to do. I turned on the stereo I had sitting on my desk, turning the volume low. I sat down on my bed, wishing I had something to do. I didn't even have any homework that was assigned. I sighed. I suppose I could go see Jake. I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, not needing to give Jake any ideas that I was trying to impress him.

When I came downstairs, Charlie was sitting in front of the television, as usual.

"Hey, Dad, can I go down to La Push and visit Jake? I'll be back before dark, and I'll grab dinner on the way home."

He nodded. "Don't worry about dinner, though, Bells. I'll order pizza or something. Go have fun in La Push." He seemed really apologetic about his outburst.

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad." I grabbed my jacket on the way out, shutting the door behind me.

The ride down to the reservation was wet. It started raining as soon as I got on the freeway. As soon as I passed the reservation line, though, it let up. I was glad it did, I didn't feel like looking like a drowned cat.

I pulled into the little driveway next to Jake's house, Jake and Billy coming out of the house to see who the unexpected visitor was.

"Bella!" Jake bounded off of the porch as I got out of the cab of the truck. He wrapped me in a warm hug before I could even say hello.

"Jake…Can't…Breathe." I sputtered out, my lungs crushed.

He laughed lightly and released me, setting me down on the gravel. Billy tipped his hat forward in hello, and turned to walk inside, knowing I was here to see Jake.

Jake ruffled my hair. "Bells, what happened to your hair? Did you get gum in it again or something? You used to always end up with gum in your hair." I shook my head.

"No, Jake, I didn't get gum in my hair." I stuck my tongue out at him. "And it was only that one time!" I paused.

"Edward broke up with me, and most of his family left, too. I just felt like I needed a change. Charlie nearly flipped his shit when he saw me, though."

"I'm sorry about Edward, but he wasn't very good for you. You and him seemed to have an odd relationship. It seemed like he wanted to put you on a shelf and just look at you, instead of dating you. And I'd imagine about the hair, Bells. You didn't really seem like the punk type, until now. I must say, though, it suits you. You look good with short hair." I nodded awkwardly at the comment.

"Well, anyway, I was just about to head back to the garage to work on my car, want to come?" He didn't wait for an answer, and started walking into his backyard.

I followed behind after a minute, finding Jacob with ease. He was already underneath the old car, tinkering with something. There was a couch pulled up fairly close to the car, I went and plopped down on it.

The night passed with idle chat between Jacob and I. I learned what was going on with the boys of the reservation, and I told him what was going on at Forks High, and what Charlie was up to. We caught each other up to speed on what was going on in our lives, with me not having been able to come down very much when I was dating Edward. Before I knew it, night had fallen, and it was time for me to head home.

Jake gave me another hug. "Try not to be such a stranger. I've missed you, sis." I smiled and nodded.

"I'll try, Jake." He let me go at that, and I drove home. Maybe Jake was finally getting over the idea of a relationship with me that was anything more than platonic.

I got home, finding Charlie right where I left him, the only difference being a mostly eaten box of pizza in front of him. "Evenin', Bells. Have fun with Jake?"

"Yeah, I did Dad. I'll have to go down there more often." He nodded. "Well, I'm going to go ahead and head to bed, I ate at Jake's. G'night, Dad."

"Night, Bells."

I headed upstairs and showered quickly, dressing in a pair of shorts and a tank top. Snuggling down into the covers, I crawled into bed.

Sleep came quickly and easily that night, a reprieve from my usual insomnia. My dreams were filled of a certain blonde haired cowboy.

I couldn't wait to see him tomorrow.

JPOV:

I headed to school early the next morning, wanting to get out of that empty house. It really was lonely, there. I had called Peter sometime during the night, and he agreed to come down in a couple of weeks. I couldn't wait to see him again. I loved that guy like he was my brother.

We had gone through so much together, it's hard to remember him as a reckless newborn who was being trained for that bitch's army. I don't know why I let him and his mate go, it was something I had never done before. Sure, some of the gifted ones got away on their own, but I never allowed any of them to leave. Thinking back on it, I'm sure glad I didn't kill him.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him actually come back to the compound. I had been growing depressed and aggravated with this way of life, the constant blood and fighting. The emotions that swirled around that compound like a hurricane were horrible. Anger. Lust. Pain. Bloodlust. Eagerness. Sadness. It was taxing.

But then Peter came to show me that there was something outside of all of that. He talked about living in a house, owning cars, being able to live like a human. I jumped at the opportunity, fleeing into the night with Peter, leaving the chaos of the newborns to Maria.

He tried to help me the best he could, but he just didn't understand how the emotions got to me. I could feel the fear my prey was feeling, the sadness. Eventually, I learned how to tune it all out, to ignore it. It was still difficult, though. I tried to ignore my past as much as possible.

I walked outside, finding my black Ninja still in the garage. It was the only vehicle I had, and I loved it. I suppose I would need to get an actual car, now that the Cullens were gone, for when it rained. I would worry about that later.

I hopped on the bike and it roared to life. I didn't bother with a helmet, finding it bulky, and of course, useless. I drove to school, breaking the speed limit for the hell of it. You couldn't really go the speed limit in a bike like this.

As soon as I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High, I was hit with a wall of lust. I sighed. I wonder what it was this time. It must be something big. I mean, lust is a fairly normal emotion at a high school, but this was a little extreme. I blocked everyone out, and walked to my first hour, arriving just as the bell rang.

My mind wandered throughout the lesson. I didn't really care what the teacher was lecturing about, hell, I probably knew more about what she was teaching than she did.

My first four classes passed in much the same fashion, I would scribble on a page in my notebook so it would seem as though I was taking notes, so the teacher would leave me alone. My mind would wander through all the memories of this life, from Emmett hiding Rosalie's shoes, to meeting Alice in the diner. I wish I would have just turned around and walked out of that diner. It would have saved me a hell of a lot of trouble.

The bell for lunch rang, and I pulled myself out of my thoughts, getting hit with a wall of emotions. I must have tuned back in sometime during my daydreaming. I walked into the cafeteria, being one of the last ones to enter. Immediately, I was hit with lust again. Except, this time it seemed to be directed at me. Perfectly at me. That was different. Humans generally don't naturally aim their emotions at people. I scanned the crowd, trying to find the source. It paused, and a small wave a embarrassment came. Then, and even stronger wave of lust came, still directed at me. Finally, I found the source, seeing…Bella? That was Bella…right?

I started making my way through the crowd, Edward's 'order' getting thrown out the window in the process. It was Bella. My god. She's changed, and in so little time, too. Her hair was cut short and tousled, her eyes lined, her lips colored and pulled into that sexy little smirk. Around her neck, tied, was a red ribbon, like a present. Her chest was squeezed into a tiny little tank top, her hips being hugged by a bright red skirt. And, fuck me, she had on knee-high boots. Damn. This was obviously the cause of all that lust this morning. I see why now.

I walked up to her table, a smirk on my own face. I pulled out a chair and turned it around, sitting on it backwards, mostly to hide the hard-on I was more than likely sporting.

"Well, hello there Miss Bella. I see you've changed a bit. I must say, you look good enough to eat." I winked at her, showing her I was kidding about the eating part. Although, I would like to eat a certain part of her…

"Oh? Well, you look pretty edible yourself. I don't remember you ever wearing anything like that with those stuck up Cullens. It suits you, Cowboy." She called me cowboy. This girl didn't know what she was getting into. I shook myself mentally. She wasn't mine. I can't go after her, she used to be Edward's girlfriend, and they broke up just yesterday. Hell, I haven't been single that long myself. What was going on with me?

I decided to bring up her throwing her lust at me. "So it was you that little burst of lust came from. Not that I'm complaining. It's nice to feel wanted every once in a while." And it was, I have missed that.

Suddenly, her emotions went haywire. She started feeling worthless, insecure, panic. I cocked my head to the side, wondering what I said.

I had to shake her out of this, before she went into a full blown panic attack. "Bella, stop. Stop the insecurity. Stop the doubt. The feeling of not being wanted. I don't know what he said to you, or what happened, and I really don't give a flying fuck. He was lying. You're and incredible woman. And trust me, there are plenty of men at this school who want you. I've been wondering what the hell was up with all the lust permeating the air today." I didn't add that I was one of the men at this school I wanted her, as much as I wanted to. Everything else I said was completely true. I felt her confidence coming back, and I smirked again.

"Better now?" I asked.

She nodded, other things seemed to be on her mind. "So, you the only one left? Kind of rude of them to pick up and leave you behind. Alice has to be worried. Not that I really care about that annoying little pixie."

Well, at least I didn't have to worry about her missing Alice. "Actually, I don't really care about her either. The bitch knew we weren't mates anymore, and she decided to let me figure it out myself." I looked down at my hands, that were clasped in front of me. I didn't really like taking about it. I felt betrayed by her every time I thought about it, and I didn't like to be betrayed.

She raised an eyebrow incredulously. "She just let you figure it out? Was that not awkward for her?" Confusion was coming off of her in waves.

"Yep. Her emotions had been a little different, but I just accounted it to stress or an upcoming vision. I never thought it had anything to do with me." I pulled myself out of my funk, no use being upset about it. It was done.

"So, you never answered one of my questions. Are you the only one still here?" She asked.

I nodded yes. "Sorry, darlin'. I'm the only vampire left. Well, aside from that little drawin' on your notebook, there. Which is highly stereotypical, by the way. I'm offended. A cape? I don't think I could pull off a cape." The tone of my voice made it obvious I was joking at being offended. The little vampire was actually adorable.

She laughed. I could get used to that sound. "You should try sometime. Who knows, you might be the next Vlad." I laughed. I might just do that sometime.

The bell rung then. The lunch period ended too shortly, I didn't get a chance to tell her what really happened on her birthday. I got up and was next to her before she could get her stuff together. I laid my hand on top of hers, not expecting what happened next. It felt like there was a current running between us, something electric. It was undeniable. There was some force pulling me closer to this girl, something pushing me to take her into my arms. Shock was written all over my features. She looked up at me, shock on her face, too. I moved my hand quickly, my skin still buzzing from the current.

"Bella, I haven't gotten a chance to tell you what really happened on your birthday." She opened her mouth to stop me, but I just continued. I had to say this. "Edward was going to kill you, I wasn't attacking you. I was lunging for Edward. I was more in control that night than I had been before. Spending that time with you in Phoenix helped me get over that. I really hope you believe me." The more I said, the more frantic I became for her to believe me. The family hadn't believed me, why would she? My fears were soon proven unfound.

"I know, Jasper. I didn't blame you, even before I knew the whole story. If, anything, it's my fault for slicing open my finger in a room full of vampires. I trust you. I know you won't take a bite out of me." She winked at me. I sighed a sigh of relief. She believed me. Thank god.

I turned, not wanting to be late for my fifth hour. "I'll see you tomorrow, Izzy." I said with a wink, the new nickname falling easily from my lips. She seemed more like an Izzy now. I liked it.

I sat through the rest of my classes much the same way I had in the morning, my thoughts in a different place, though. My thoughts were filled with Izzy, both the new and the old. I wish I had gotten a chance to get to know her before now. Stupid Yankees, keeping me away from her.

The final bell rang, and I headed out into the parking lot, looking for her. I wanted to see if she wanted to go get dinner or something before she went home. My heart fell when I didn't find her, or her truck where she usually parked. I sighed, I supposed I would just have to wait that much longer to see her again.

I hopped on my bike and took off back to the house. I walked inside and greeted no one, the house barren just as I had left it. I sighed.

It was going to be a long night.

Well, there ya go! Chapter Four, which was really like three of my normal chapters. So, you should leave me reviews for the extra long chapter!

-Blaize


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hi there! Chapter Five here! As usual, I own nothing but the laptop I'm writing this on, and I still make no money off of this story.

JPOV:

The night passed slowly. The book I was trying to read just couldn't hold my attention. That mysterious current I had felt in the cafeteria with Izzy kept drifting through my mind. If I concentrated hard enough, when I closed my eyes, I could swear I could feel it still, pulling me in the direction of town. It was comforting, somehow. It made me feel like I had a purpose here after all.

I tried to remember if I had ever felt anything like that before. I searched through my memories, trying to see if I had felt that current with anyone. I shook my head, this feeling was brand new. I hadn't even felt the current with Alice. Maybe it's a human thing, I thought. Most vampires don't make a habit of touching humans, and if they do, their mind is clouded with bloodlust. But, then, why could I still feel it, pleading with me to go find that woman? I sighed. I probably won't ever know the reason behind it.

My phone buzzed then, with a simple text. 'We will be coming within the next few days, turns out I'm supposed to be there sooner than I thought. Try not to worry your little head about her too much.' It was from Peter. Who was he talking about? Surely he didn't know about Izzy. I never got the chance to tell him about the human the Cullens were talking to; as Alice never liked Peter and Charlotte. The feeling was mutual. Peter didn't like what she did to me, how domesticated I had become when I was with her. Charlotte didn't like how she made me dress, how she made me wear my hair. Now that I thought about it, Alice really did strip me down and build me up the way she wanted me. She never really liked me, she just liked who she wanted me to be. I shook my head. My mother would have turned over in her grave if she knew what I had gotten myself into with those Yankees. My mother said to 'never trust a Yankee'. Yet I go off and marry one for fifty years. I shook my head.

I went to go make sure the guest room was made up for Peter and Charlotte. Their version of a few days could mean tomorrow, or five days from now. It all depended on how many times they got 'distracted'.

I found that the guest room was, in fact, already made up. I was actually kind of sad, I wanted something to do. I caught sight of my eyes in a mirror, they were starting to fade into an onyx color. I sighed. I had been wanting to put this off for a while.

I didn't know if I wanted to continue the animal diet, now that the Cullens were gone. That was the only real reason I did it, was for Alice. I mean, it was nice being able to not feel the emotions from my kill, but the gold eyes made me look like a pansy. And, of course, the whole loss of strength thing. But mainly, it made me look like a pansy.

I debated for a couple of minutes. My phone then buzzed again. I sighed, figuring it was probably Alice, telling me not to fall off the bandwagon. 'Go ahead. She won't mind. Trust me, it'll help you in the long run.' It was Peter again. Him 'knowing stuff' could get really fuckin annoying sometimes.

My mind made up, I went outside and hopped on the bike, not concerned about the pixie thinking I fell off the bandwagon. I didn't fall off, I jumped.

I pulled into Seattle a short time later, slightly surprised at the number of people still out this late at night. Falling into the hunt easily, I made my way into the seedier part of Seattle. I walked into a bar, taking a seat in the back corner, deciding to watch the humans play.

No one noticed me there in the back, watching. Waiting. Waiting for one of them to prove themselves unworthy of living a moment longer, and then I would end them. I fell into the thought process easily, liking how it felt. How it felt to have power. Power to decide who lived that night. Yes, I've missed this so very much.

It didn't take long. It never does. Idiotic humans. I watched as a man pulled a girl on top of his lap, who obviously didn't want to be there. He whispered something inaudible to the humans around him. I heard him perfectly.

"You're going to meet me in the alley behind here. You're not going to shout, you're not going to tell anyone. Ten minutes after I walk out that door, you're going to follow me. I know where you live. Don't try to run, or it will just end up worse for you, and your family. Understand?"

The girl nodded, and he shoved her roughly off his lap, and walked outside, to wait for the girl. I have found my prey.

I could feel my eyes darken to pure black as I walked out the door and into the alleyway. He was leaned up against the wall, smoking a cigarette. Damn. It's blood would taste off, now. I sauntered forward, deciding to have fun with it.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? Were you expecting someone else? Although, I suppose it's a bit too early for her to show up."

"What? Did that bitch run off and tell someone?" It sighed. It had better enjoy those breaths It was taking. It wouldn't have too many left.

"Oh, no. That poor girl is waiting in there, scared half to death. Although, she's not as scared as you'll be in a few minutes. You'll be scared all the way to death." I sped forward, too fast for It's eyes, and had It pinned up against the wall by It's neck. It's eyes got wide, and I reveled in it.

"What…what the hell? What the fuck are you?" It's face was turning purple. I liked that shade of purple.

I smiled wide, showing my teeth. "I'm your worst motherfucking nightmare." And I bit It's neck, the skin tearing easily in my mouth. I pulled, the blood tasting absolutely amazing on my tongue, even with the cigarette. I drank until he was dry. I threw his body in a nearby dumpster, then lit the dumpster on fire. I wiped my mouth as I walked out of the alley, leaving the area before anyone even noticed the dumpster was on fire.

I could feel the blood running through me, giving me back the strength that I hadn't had when I was sucking squirrels. I could feel the power coursing through me. Everything became sharper, I was more aware of everything around me. I smiled. I've definitely missed this.

I hopped back on my bike, realizing I had just enough time to make it back to the house, take a shower and change, and make it to school.

Once I got home, I went upstairs, looking for the contacts the Cullens kept around in case one of us slipped up. I would need to buy more of these. I found a pair of brown ones, and put them in. They should last all day.

Next I jumped in the shower, making short work of cleaning off all evidence of the hunt, the water feeling warm against my skin. I got out when I was clean, wrapping a towel around my waist. I'm forever thankful that the change gave me a six pack that I didn't really have to work for. I mean, I was toned as a human, but not this toned. The little water droplets ran down the indentions between the muscles, finally being absorbed by the towel.

I walked to my closet, pulling out a black button up shirt, a tight white undershirt, and a pair of jeans. I was dressed when I saw my old belt buckle sitting on the shelf, next to my black leather belt. I quickly put them on, pulling on my boots afterwards.

I checked the time, I was right. I would have just enough time to make it to school.

I got on my bike again, and took off for school.

I just hoped Izzy would still talk to me after she found out I killed someone.

BPOV:

I woke up before my alarm went off that morning. I slept peacefully the night before, the only dreams I had involving Jasper. I didn't mind those dreams at all.

I got out of bed, switching my alarm off so it wouldn't go off. I wandered downstairs, deciding to eat breakfast before I got ready. I decided on cereal and apple juice, and made it quickly. I sat down at the table, eating slowly. Once I was done, I put the dishes in the sink, and decided to start getting ready for the day.

I walked into the bathroom, deciding to do my make-up first. Once that and my hair was done, I brushed my teeth. I went back into my room, and tried to figure out what to wear today. I would need to go shopping soon, I didn't have the clothes to suit my new style. I found a pair of tight jeans with the knees ripped out of them, and a band t-shirt. It would do. I grabbed the ribbon I wore yesterday, and tied it around my neck again. I put on my pair of black converse, and I headed out the door, grabbing my trench coat and bag on the way out.

I got to school quickly, the ride uneventful. I parked in my usual spot, and looked around for Jasper.

I saw him get off of an onyx Ninja, wearing a black button down shirt, and a clingy white t-shirt. I could imagine running my hands down that chest. Those jeans he was wearing was hugging his ass perfectly, the boots he was wearing finishing the look.

I realized I was staring and probably sending off a ton of lust when he raised his head and started looking around. I panicked, not wanting to get caught. I ducked behind the cab of my truck, glad for once I owned a truck. In my hurry to hide, though, I dropped my bag, papers flying everywhere. I sighed. So much for being discreet.

I started gathering the lost papers, shoving them back into my bag, crinkling the majority of them in the process. I was reaching for the last one when someone grabbed it before I could.

I stood up, ready to confront whoever was trying to steal one of my papers. "Hey that's mi…" It was Jasper.

He held the paper out for me to take, and I took it, feeling like a total idiot. "Oh, sorry, Jasper. I didn't know it was you." I looked up, looking him in the face for the first time that day.

His eyes were brown.

Vampires can't have brown eyes.

"Jasper, what's wrong with your eyes?" I asked, stupidly.

He sighed and looked away. "I have in contacts, Izzy. My eyes…weren't their usual color this morning."

But why…oh. "You're not a 'vegetarian' anymore, are you, Jas?"

He shook his head no, still looking away.

I smiled, and reached up, and ruffled his hair. "I think I like that better. Seems more natural. So long as you're happy. Don't look like you're waiting for me to punish you."

"To be honest, Izzy, I am. I figured you wouldn't be very happy. It is more natural, though. I'm stronger, faster, more alert. I feel better than I have in years. I'm more in control, too."

I nodded. I tried to picture him with bright red eyes. Either way, I thought it was kind of sexy, I could imagine him on the hunt, a deadly killer wrapped up in the form of a hot Texan cowboy.

"Is that lust? What is going on in that pretty little mind of yours, Izzy?" Shit, shit, shit. I really have to stop daydreaming around him.

I ignored the question. "I can't really imagine you with red eyes, though. You'll have to show me sometime."

He gave me one of his sexy smirks and nodded. "Don't think I didn't notice you avoided that question there, Miss Swan. I expect an answer during lunch. Maybe then I'll show you my eyes."

Just then the first bell rang, and he seemed to argue with himself for a minute, and then he wrapped me in a quick hug. After a second, he turned and walked to his first hour, waving at me slightly.

Even in that small amount of time, I felt the same current running between us as I did yesterday. I probably would have spent more time pondering that if I didn't have to come up with a reason for why I was all lust-y this morning.

My first four hours was dedicated to coming up with an excuse to tell Jasper. I would have to figure out a way to tell him, without really telling him, because he would be able to tell easily if I was lying. I sighed. This was going to be difficult.

Lunch came quickly, and I took the same table I had yesterday, making it easy for Jasper to find me.

He was one of the last ones to enter again, and he sat down the same way he had yesterday.

"Well, do I get to hear your reason?" He asked as he sat down, cutting to the chase.

"I was daydreaming." I said, not lying.

"About what?" Damn. He wasn't going to let this go.

"A man." Maybe if I beat around the bush long enough, he would get tired.

"Who?" I sighed. Quick, think Izzy. Think.

"Uhm…this really hot man?" It came out sounding like a question.

"He sure must have been hot, with the amount of lust you were throwin out there Miss Swan. Now do I know him?"

I nodded. You can totally know yourself, right?

"Hmm. Tell me more about him."

I sighed. Fuck. "Uhm…what do you want to know?"

He thought for a second. "What's he wearing today?"

I was beginning to think he knew I was talking about him, and he was fucking with me. "Jeans." There. That covers half of Forks High.

"And..? I'm assuming he's wearing a shirt. Or two. But I'm sure you would rather him not be." He said with a wink.

My eyes grew wide. That fucker knew. "You know exactly who it is. Now let me see your eyes."

I wasn't getting off that easy. "I assure you, Izzy, I don't know who was runnin' through your thoughts this morning." He said with a smirk. A smirk.

I sighed. "Godamn it, I give up. It was you, Jasper Hale. You. Are you and your tight ass jeans and clingy white shirt fucking happy now?" I looked away, afraid of his reaction.

He smirked. "Actually, its Whitlock now, darlin'. And yes, me and my tight ass jeans are fucking happy now. How about you and your tight ass jeans? Oh, and you can't forget about that tight little band t-shirt, either. How are they?" I saw him wink out of the corner of my eye.

"Me and my tight ass jeans and tight little shirt are fine, thank yo…"I looked back at his face, he had taken his contacts out. His eyes were a bright crimson red, it contrasting starkly with his pale skin. I loved them. The eyes, I mean.

"So, whatcha think, darlin'? Scary?" He seemed really worried about my reaction, but was trying not to show it. He didn't need to worry.

"I think they make you look even hotter. You should have quit munching rabbits long ago, Cowboy. They suit you." Hell, he already knew I thought he was hot, might as well verbally admit to him along with emotionally.

He seemed relieved. "I'm glad they don't bother you, Izzy." He popped the contacts back in. The brown eyes just looked odd, now. I missed the intensity of the red.

"I have a couple of old friends coming up within the next few days that I would like you to meet, if you want. I met them back when I was in the war. They won't take a bite out of you, I promise."

I nodded. "Sure, I'd love to meet them, Jas. Just tell me when."

He nodded, and the bell rang then. He stood, and gave me the same hug he did this morning. It was a routine I could easily get used to.

He mock saluted. "See you later, Izzy." With that, he walked to his fifth hour.

The end of the school day came quickly, and I walked out into the parking lot, half expecting to see Jasper leaning against my truck. I was sadly disappointed. I looked over to where he parked his bike, and it was already gone from its spot.

I drove home, trying to put all thoughts of Jasper away, at least until tomorrow.

When I got home, Charlie was already home from the station. I walked inside, tossing my bag and jacket on the kitchen counter.

"Dad?" I called, getting a response from the living room. I should have guessed.

"Hey, Bells. I got off of work early, so I picked up dinner. It's in the fridge, if you want it."

I nodded. "Thanks, Dad." I wandered into the kitchen, pulling out the take-out Charlie brought home, and heated it up.

I ate slowly, thinking over today. Maybe my feelings aren't one-sided. He took my admission well, even sort of complimented me. Sort of. I shook my head. It was no use dwelling on it.

I set the dishes in the sink, and went up to my room to do what homework I had been assigned, deciding to read once that was finished.

Around nine o'clock, I got up and started getting ready for bed, taking a shower and brushing my teeth. I curled up in bed, feeling safe and warm underneath the covers.

I drifted off to sleep easily, red-eyed vampires running through my dreams.

A/N: Well, there you go. Oh, Jasper referring to the man he was killing as 'It' was intentional, so don't think it was some kind of grammatical error or something. That's all, I suppose. And don't forget to review, of course. It only takes a minute, but it totally makes my day. :D


	6. Chapter 6

First off, I want to say thank you to all the nice reviews I've gotten. I read each and every one of them, even if I don't reply. I squeal and act like a freak every time I get an email with a review. No lie. So thanks guys!

The rest of the week passed much the same way. Jasper would talk to me in the morning, hugging me before walking to his first hour. I would spend my first four hours only half-listening to the lecture; my mind wondering to what Jasper was doing, what he was thinking about. It went to that place on its own, I couldn't help it.

We would meet during lunch, and talk about random things, what we liked, disliked, what our dreams were. He would buy me lunch, once he realized I had stopped eating at school, insisting I eat. I was touched he cared enough about my well-being to make me eat.

I would go home each day and try to occupy my time until I could go to sleep, and repeat the process again.

Friday, during lunch, Jasper brought up his friends, again.

"Hey, Bella, remember those friends I told you about? Peter and Charlotte? They got here last night, and I was wondering if you still wanted to meet them. Maybe you could come over tomorrow morning, and we can all spend the say together. If you want, I mean." Poor thing, he looked so nervous.

I smiled and nodded. "Sure, it sounds like fun." Jasper had told me a little bit about Peter lunch one day. "He sounds like someone I could get along with, and so does Charlotte. I'd love to meet them."

He seemed glad that I was eager to meet his friends. The date and time was set, he would come and pick me up around eleven in the morning, and we would spend the day together. I would tell Charlie I was spending the day with Angela or something, to cover up my absence. I wasn't ready to tell Charlie about Jasper yet.

Tired of sitting at the house all afternoon, Friday after school I went clothes shopping, finally running out of things I could wear from my closet that would go with my new style. I headed up to Port Angeles, deciding to hit the mall there.

I shopped for a couple of hours, buying several new outfits. I also bought some necklaces and bracelets; I wanted to look good when I met Jasper's friends.

Saturday morning, wanting to have plenty of time to get ready, I woke up at nine-thirty. I woke up and went downstairs, finding Charlie gone for the day. That was convenient. I decided to eat a granola bar for breakfast, not wanting anything heavy on my stomach.

I wandered upstairs after I ate, deciding I needed to take a shower. I stepped into the warm water, relaxing immediately. I used my favorite strawberry shampoo, the familiar smell filling the small bathroom.

I took my time showering, finally stepping out into the warm air of the bathroom. I wrapped a towel around myself, and set to work on doing my make-up and hair. I lined my eyes, the line ending a little bit past the corner of my eye. I didn't bother with eyeshadow, yet, since I wasn't sure what I was wearing yet. I moved on to my lips, using a light red lipstick. I started working on my hair, then, it already dried. I grabbed some hair gel, bent forward, flipping my hair over my head, running my fingers through it, giving it a tousled style.

I walked into my room, then, and checked the time. Ten-thirty. Perfect. I went over to my closet, and tried to decide on something to wear. I chose a pair of black leggings, a red, plaid skirt, a white t-shirt, and a pair of ankle boots that had lots of buckles. I added a pair of black lace gloves that went up to my elbow, and a red tie that hung loosely around my neck. I heard the doorbell ring then, and, after running into the bathroom to apply a bit of brown eyeshadow, I went and answered the door.

Jasper was standing there in a tight black t-shirt, and a pair of low- rise jeans. He had on a pair of black cowboy boots, and a black Stetson perched atop of this head. I looked up; he didn't have any contacts in, his red eyes shining against the paleness of his skin. That damn sexy smirk was plastered on his face.

"Well, mornin' Miss Swan. Care to spend the day with me? I swear I'll have ya back before dark." He winked. He was playing this up.

"Why, I would love to spend the day with a man such as yourself. Let me just grab my jacket." I reached next to the door, and grabbed the black leather trench coat.

I walked outside, seeing his black Ninja in the driveway. it's a good thing I wore leggings underneath the skirt.

I walked over and hopped on the back of the Ninja, after locking the door. I liked the bike. Maybe I would save up and buy one after college.

"Jasper, will you teach me how to ride? I want one of these after college; so you should teach me, so I don't end up killing myself." I hoped he would teach me, if he wouldn't, I would just find someone who would.

"Ride what, exactly? There are a few things that I have in mind that I could teach you how to ride." He said with a wink and a smirk.

I felt my face begin to flush. I mentally shook myself, I will _not_ let him get to me. My face began to cool as I replied. "Well, the bike for now, Cowboy. We don't want to keep your friends waiting. They might start to wonder if you took a bite outta me, and then come looking. Wouldn't want them to find us in a compromising position, now would we?" I gave a smirk of my own.

"I would love to teach you how to ride, want to start now?" He said as he scooted me forward on the bike, not really giving me a choice in the matter.

"Uhm, sure. I guess." I gripped the handles of the bike nervously. I wasn't so sure about this anymore. I was getting put on the spot, and I didn't like it. I thought I would have time to mentally prepare for this, not just be shoved in the driver's seat/

He began to point out the specifics of the bike, where the gas and brake was, how to switch gears. He also taught me how to lean into a turn, and how to keep my balance when I was vertical. He was an excellent teacher. I felt my confidence coming back as he spoke, but I wasn't sure it was all my doing. Damn empath.

"Well, think you're ready to go?" He looked at me, his eyes happy. I nodded warily, my confidence taking flight again.

He chuckled. "Come on, I'll protect you even if you manage to wreck the bike. Which you won't." He reached over and turned on the bike, it roaring to life underneath me. He sat down on the back of the bike, his cool hands resting on my waist.

Focus, Izzy. You can't go off into dreamland while trying to maneuver a bike. I would manage to kill both of us; a feat in of its own.

I slowly inched the bike out onto the street, looking both ways to make sure there wasn't a car in sight. I twisted the handle that was the gas tentatively, the bike speeding up considerably, but not uncontrollably. This really wasn't that difficult. It was just like driving a car.

I came to my first stop sign, braking perfectly.

"See? I told you that you would do fine, darlin'. Trust me." I nodded, a smile plastered on my face.

I took off again, making my way to where the Cullens used to live. It felt weird, saying it like they didn't live there anymore. They didn't, of course, but it still felt odd. The only ones I really missed from the family was Emmett and Rosalie. I missed my big brother, and Rosalie's random bitchiness amused me. I missed Esme a little, and Carlisle, but I didn't miss Edward or Alice at all. My life was much more stress-free with them gone.

I got onto the freeway easily, taking the sudden need for an increase in speed easily. I loved the feeling of the air rushing around me, I felt powerful, graceful. I would definitely have to get one of these as soon as possible.

Too soon, we pulled up to what was now Jasper's house. I heard a deep voice call out from the porch.

"Damn, Jasper, did that pixie take all of your manhood? The Major would have never rode bitch. What the fuck is up with this?" There was only a slight hint of a joke in the mans tone. I looked up, and saw who I assumed was Peter standing on the porch, with Charlotte standing slightly behind him.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole. She wanted to learn how to ride, so I let her drive. I still have all of my manhood, and it isn't stored in my girl's purse, like your's is." Jasper hopped off the bike, and waited for, I assumed, me.

I turned the key, and hopped off the bike, standing slightly behind Jasper. I handed him the key, and looked closer at the strangers on the porch.

Peter was slightly shorter than Jasper, with the same blonde hair, but his was more curly that Jaspers. His face was angular, his eyes bright red, having just fed, I guessed. His mouth was in a smirk. His arms, from what I could see, had the same type of bites littered on them that Jasper did. He was wearing a white button down, that was fully buttoned, with the sleeved pushed up to his elbows. He had on a pair of dark-washed jeans, and a pair of black cowboy boots. He looked like he would be mischievous and sarcastic; I could get along with him.

I looked past him, to Charlotte. She had long black hair, and a round face. Her eyes, too, were bright crimson, and her mouth was pulled up into a sweet, welcoming smile. She looked friendly. She had on a pair of jeans, and a black blouse, with a pair of boots on.

"Well, Jasper, aren't you going to introduce us? Or have you forgotten your manners?" Not waiting for Jasper's response, Peter strode forward, sticking a hand out.

"Hello there, Miss Swan." He took my hand that I offered, expecting a handshake, and kissed the back of my hand. I blushed, slightly. I could get used to these southern gentlemen.

"Peter, I assume?" He looked up, nodding. "Well, it's nice to meet you. Jasper has told me about you."

He smirked, then. "All about me? Or just the nice things?" I looked back to Jasper, who was smiling at Peter.

Jasper answered for me. "I've told her bits of the not-so-nice parts, but I figured it would be best to let her find out herself. She would have had a hard time believing me if I told you how stupid you can be sometimes." He said it in a joking tone, obviously not serious.

Charlotte stepped forward then, to introduce herself. She wrapped me in a hug; I wasn't expecting that. "Hello, sug. I've heard all about you from Jasper here. It seems like you can be a real spitfire when you want to be. You and Peter will get along just fine." Her southern accent was prominent when she spoke.

I laughed softly. "I suppose I can. I'm sure Peter and I will be very good friends."

He winked at me. "How good are we talkin', here? Should I leave my bedroom door unlocked? I don't think Charlotte would mind sharing me with a woman as fine as yourself." Jasper growled behind me. I ignored it.

I smirked. "I don't think you could handle someone like me. It might be too rough for you." I heard a long, low whistle let out behind me. With that, I turned to walk inside, effectively ending, and winning, the game.

They followed me inside as I plopped down on the white couch. "You know, Jasper, you should think about redecorating. It seems too…stiff in here. Too perfect. I feel like I'm going to break something if I look at it too long. The style doesn't really seem to fit you, either."

"Yeah, I should do something with the place. Charlotte, that seems like something you would have fun doing. Would you mind?"

"Of course not, sug. I'll make this house so comfortable that you don't ever want to leave." She winked at that and sat down; pulling out a laptop to begin work.

"So, whatcha' want to do today, Miss Swan? I didn't really plan anything specific." Jasper said as he sat down on the other side of the couch.

I shrugged. "I dunno. Anything. It doesn't really matter to me." I couldn't really think of anything to do with a group full of vampires. I don't think they would be up for a trip to the mall or something like that.

"Hey! I have an idea!" Peter suddenly exclaimed, and started bouncing on his feet. He looked like a little kid. "Let's go to the mall!" I face-palmed. Of course.

"Yeah! I can go shopping!" Charlotte shut the laptop, and stood.

Jasper nodded. "Yeah, I need to pick up some clothes, too. Clothes more my style."

"Well, come on, then! Let's go!" Peter was tugging at Jasper's sleeve, acting like an impatient kid.

"Charlotte, is it possible the change damaged his brain somehow? Maybe made him act younger? Because he is acting like he is nine." I asked Charlotte as Peter drug Jasper out the door.

"Goddamn, Whitlock, chill the fuck out. The mall isn't going to run off if we don't get there in the next five minutes." Jasper seemed annoyed.

Peter wasn't going to be swayed. Peter had drug Jasper outside and had him thrown into the car before Charlotte and I could get out the door. Jasper just fixed himself in the driver's seat of the truck, who I assumed was Peter's, and patiently waited for Charlotte and I to get inside.

Peter crawled into the back seat, and had seemed to calm down. That was probably thanks to Jasper. Charlotte sat in the back seat, and took Peter's hand as she sat down, probably to calm him down. I took the passenger seat, it being the only seat left. Jasper seemed to relax when I sat down, his posture relaxing. I could have sworn he let out a breath he was holding. That was odd. I shook the thought from my head. I wouldn't dwell on any actions of affection from Jasper. It wouldn't do any good.

We arrived to the mall thirty minutes later, Peter perfectly calm. We spent the day wandering around the mall, the three of them buying nearly a whole new wardrobe. I bought a few accessories, more content to watch them shop. Peter kept trying to buy skinny jeans and tight tank tops, and Charlotte wasn't having any of it. She would just take them out of the pile, and put them back, a sad expression on Peter's face when he found them missing.

We took the same seats we had on the way to the mall, and I was lost in thought before we pulled out of the parking lot. I liked Peter and Charlotte, I think I could get along well with them. Peter was like the older brother I never had, someone to get into trouble with, but there to get you out of it. Charlotte was the older sister, quiet, in the background, offering love and advice when needed. I knew that, given time, I could look at the three vampires in the car as my family.

JPOV:

I swear, I don't know why Peter ever thought he would look any kind of good in skinny jeans. That was a sight I couldn't unsee. I shook my head slightly, trying to get my mind on something else, like the road. That would probably be a good place to put it, Whitlock. Don't want to kill the girl beside you. Izzy. I couldn't live with myself if I let something happen to her. I've never met anyone quite like her. I've never met a human that could hold my attention like she does. And that spark? I wish I knew what that was. It was driving me crazy.

I pulled into the long driveway of the house, hopping out. Izzy and Charlotte walked inside, something about 'girl talk'. I nodded, and walked out back, Peter following me.

"I need to talk to you, Major. I think it's something you will want to know." I nodded, looking at the ground, and ran into the forest, out of earshot.

I turned on my heel once we were far enough out. "Something wrong, Peter?" Surely nothing bad was going to happen. Maria had no idea where I was, and I hadn't pissed off the Volturi, so far as I knew.

"Just a couple of things you need to know, regarding Izzy." If my heart could still beat, it would be racing now. Izzy? What could happen? Had she gotten herself into some sort of trouble?

"Whoa, Major, calm down. It's not that serious." I calmed, if Peter said it wasn't that serious, it wasn't. Simple as that.

"Have you been feeling anything odd around her? Anything? At all?" The current. Maybe he knew what was up with the current thing that had been happening!

"Yeah, it feels like there is this current running in between us. I figured it was just some human thing. We aren't around humans that much, so…" I trailed off, not really knowing where to go with that statement.

Peter sighed. "Are you an idiot, Jasper? A human thing? Really? You're around humans all day at school, did you ever get the urge to go running after them when they walked away? No? Hmm. Wonder why. Oh, right. Because it's not a human thing!" He seemed pretty pissed.

"Well, then, O Great One of Infinite Knowledge, what the hell is it, then? Hmm?" I waited for an answer.

He sighed. "I shouldn't even fucking tell you, with how dense you've been. Let you pull your head out of your ass all by yourself." He shook his head.

"She's your mate. Duh." He deadpanned.

"No. Fucking. Way." She's my mate? Can that even happen? Surely not. I mean, she dated Edward! How the hell was this going to work? This was like something out of some afternoon soap opera that single mothers watch. Fuck.

"That's not all. When she went to save Edward from the Volturi, she made a promise to Aro. She has to be changed, and fairly soon. Aro made her promise that she would be changed, since she knew all about the vampire world. If you don't change her, they will. And, if they change her, they are going to take her and put her in the guard. The guard changes people, you know that. So you're gonna have to change Izzy."

I couldn't believe the Cullens let her make that kind of promise. She was stuck now, stuck to a fate she probably didn't want, now that Edward was gone.

I don't know how I'm going to manage to convince her to spend eternity with me. But I will damn sure try.

Sorry this took so long! I've been so busy lately with JROTC Drill teams and color guards and drill meets, so I'm sincerely sorry! Leave me a nice review, please, so I can get inspired to write more!

-Blaize


	7. Chapter 7

JPOV:

"What are you thinking?" Peter asked worriedly. Right. I wasn't alone. I guessed it had been a couple of minutes since he broke the news, and I hadn't said anything.

Deciding to be honest, I said, "Trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to convince Izzy to be changed. It's not going to go over well." I knew what Peter said was true, he has been by my side through thick and thin, and I knew, without a doubt, he would never lie to me.

"No. It's not. Edward leaving her really messed her up. She has trust issues she hides well, and that is definitely going to come into play. She has baggage to rival yours. And mine, for that matter."

"I just don't even know where to start…I mean, she dated Edward! She's still going to see me as his 'brother'. I doubt she would even be able to see me in that light." Fuck, why does Edward always have to fuck shit up? He's not even here, for god's sake, and he still manages to make my life fucking difficult. I knew I liked her, I felt more alive when I was with her than all of the years before combined. She was calming to be around; she didn't feel the need to fill companionable silence with chatter. She was like a cool lake on a warm day. I loved the way she would blush slightly, then fight it, and come up with something witty to say. I just hoped she saw me the same way.

"She's not going to be able _not _to. She's your mate. It's 'meant to be', not to sound all mushy. And if you won't change her, I will. You don't want her in the guard. Aside from the shit they put their trainees through; all hell would break loose if they got a hold of her. We want her on our side, regardless."

I growled at the thought of his venom changing her. "But, then, why did I not feel it before, when she was dating Edward? And what do you mean by that? Is there going to be a war?" I groaned. I thought I had gotten away from all that shit when I left Maria.

"You were with Alice, then. You wouldn't have noticed it, because you were in a committed relationship. If she hadn't left when she did, you probably wouldn't have ever known she was meant to be yours. And how many times were you really close to her? You wouldn't have noticed it if you weren't, regardless. I'm not sure, Major. I just know we need her on our side. Just trust me." He put his hand on my shoulder.

I wonder… "Do you think Alice knew that Bella and I were mates?" I'd bet almost anything she did.

"Probably, with her freaky vision shit. Probably waited until the last minute to leave." It wouldn't surprise me. She probably knew what was going to happen, and left to save her hide. Bitch.

"We should probably get back to the house, I'm sure they're starting to wonder what's going on." With that, Peter turned and started running back towards the house.

"Be there in a second." I said to his retreating form. I climbed up into the nearest tree, and leaned against a branch. I sighed. I wished Peter had kept this to himself. I understand why he felt I needed to know, but now it feels like whatever relationship Izzy and I have is going to feel forced. I couldn't just ignore it and send her off into the guard; I can't make that kind of decision for her. Maybe I should just sit her down and lay out her options for her, leaving out the part about us being mates, of course, and let her make up her mind. If she really is my mate, she won't want to leave either way.

I wondered what was coming that Peter felt that we needed her on our side for. Could Maria be coming to take Peter and I back? I groaned again. I couldn't go back to that hellhole. Memories that I thought I'd buried came flooding back to the forefront of my mind. I saw myself ripping apart newborns, venom flying, staining my clothes. I saw the helpless, fearful, pained expressions frozen on their faces, watching as their detached bodies burned. I saw myself hunting for new prey, my eyes black, searching for my next victim. I was ruthless, a killer, a monster. I would never be forgiven of the sins I have committed. I laid my head in my hands, spending the rest of the night swimming in memories of what seemed like a past life.

BPOV:

Peter came strolling through the back door, whistling, a little after him and Jasper disappeared into the forest. Charlotte and I simply got to knew each other better during the time of their disappearance, having not really had the chance to before. It was nice.

"Hey, Peter. Have a nice chat?" He came and sat across from Charlotte and I.

"Meh. It went better than it could have. He took the news well."

"What do you mean by news? Is something wrong?" Hopefully the Volturi weren't coming for me yet…I had to deal with that alone. It wasn't anyone's fault but mine. Well, mine, and Edward's.

He smirked. "Jasper will tell you all about it, I'm sure, when he is done sulking." With that, he got up and drug out the PS3.

"Until then, want to play?" He asked, holding a controller out to me. I nodded, and took the controller.

We passed the time playing games, Peter generally beating me. Jasper came home around six, and went straight upstairs to take a shower. He was covered in dirt, and dried blood.

"Must have gone hunting…" Peter mumbled, and turned off the game. "He's probably going to want to talk to you alone, Izzy. Charlotte and I are going to go hunt, okay?" Peter said as he and Charlotte stood. I nodded absently, wondering what was going on. Peter and Charlotte ran outside, into the rainstorm.

It didn't take long for Jasper to come downstairs, freshly showered. "Izzy? Can I talk to you?" I nodded and patted the couch cushion next to me.

He looked so nervous as he sat down. "What's going on, Jasper?"

"You made a deal with the Volturi to save Edward, didn't you?"

I gulped. Fuck. "Yeah. I did. How did you know about that?"

He sighed. "Peter 'knew'. Bella, you have two choices. Either, you can wait for them to come for you and turn you, where you will be forced to join the guard," His voice seemed pained. He didn't like the idea of me leaving. "Or, you can let Peter or I turn you. Both of us have more than enough control to do it. You wouldn't be in any danger. However, if you join the guard, I can't guarantee you'll make it past the first year. Being a part of the guard is very dangerous. The training they put you through is pure hell."

I sighed. I knew this was coming. I just didn't expect it so soon. We sat in silence as I thought. Could I really leave all of this behind? Jasper, my best friend, Peter and Charlotte, the older siblings I never had? And, that odd little current that seemed to run between Jasper and I…that had to mean something. Something good. I felt safe here, I couldn't leave.

"Well, when do you want to do it? How long do we have?" I asked, my choice decided.

"So you want me to do it?" His face lit up. I smiled brightly.

"Of course I want you to do it. Peter might fuck up and not get enough venom in me, or try to feel me up while he's doing it." I winked, showing Jasper that I was joking.

"You know, I didn't even think to ask how long we had…Peter made it seem urgent…"

Peter picked that moment to walk through the door. "We need to have her begin her change within the next week. She, of course, needs to be trained for what's coming. We can't have her running into a battle half-cocked. She needs to know what she is doing."

So it was set, then. I had a week left of my human life. I felt indifferent. I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time. Time. Time wouldn't have much meaning to me before long. I had at least wanted to go to college, get a degree, have enough time to get bored of life before it ran out. It's not as if I wanted children or a husband really, for that matter. I'd given up on love. It was useless, a weakness to stay away from. If you really, truly cared about someone, it gave someone something to use against you. So, logically, it makes sense not to get involved with anyone. That was my philosophy on life. It made sense to me.

The details of the next few days stood out to me. The way the rain felt on my face, the way the wet earth would give slightly under my feet. I focused on food, something I would be giving up. I tried to store tastes and textures in my brain, hoping the memories would survive the change. I tried to spend time with Charlie, even if it was just watching a baseball game with him. I started making more food that was needed, storing it in the freezer, so Charlie wouldn't be left totally on his own when I 'died'.

I wished that I could somehow tell Renee that I loved her, not to miss me. I couldn't though, without it seeming too suspicious. She would probably move on quickly, anyway.

I thought a lot about my childhood, trying to dig up memories to store in my memory, so that I wouldn't lose them when I changed.

I couldn't find it in me to care about school, and I only went to keep up appearances. I still sat with Jasper at lunch, we would talk quietly, he being able to sense I was melancholy. This was the only way, though. I had to go through with it.

I could tell after a few days, though, that my sadness was affecting him. He was wearing the same sad expression I was. I smiled softly at him. "Don't be sad, Jas. This is how it has to be. I'll get through it, alright?" I stood and walked around the table we were sitting at, and hugged him from behind. I noticed the current, again, but pushed it to the back of my mind.

"This isn't fair to you; you shouldn't have to choose like this. I want you to be changed because you want to, not because of a proverbial axe hanging over your head. This isn't right." He groaned, and put his head in his hands.

I sighed. "Jasper, stop. I know full well what I'm walking into. I'll be fine." I sat down next to him, and rubbed his shoulder softly.

"No, you don't know everything about what you're walking into, Isabella. This isn't fair…" He laid his head on the table.

"What do you mean, Jas…?" What could he be hiding?

He groaned again, picking his head up, looking at me. "Isabella, have you ever felt…a current when you touched me?"

I blushed slightly. "And if I have?"

He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand, "Your blush…I'm going to miss that."

I smiled and laid my hand on his. "The current?" I said, trying to get him back on track.

He shook his head slightly, and dropped his hand. I missed the contact.

"Well, you see…"

The bell rung, interrupting him. I groaned, of course.

He smiled. "Don't worry, I'll tell you after school. Come over to the house?"

I nodded, and started to walk off, but he grabbed my wrist, and spun me into him, his arm circling my waist.

"Jas…?"

He smiled, and kissed my forehead. "See you after school." He said softly.

And then he was gone.

My classes passed slowly, my mind kept going back to that moment in the cafeteria. Surely I didn't imagine it; I didn't have that good of an imagination. I would blush and touch the place he kissed softly, wondering if just maybe, the feelings I've been hiding so well were returned.

But did I really want to get involved with another Cullen? Did I want to get involved with someone at all? Jasper didn't seem like the type to love and leave, but old fears die hard. And things with Jasper just felt…different. Like there was a sense of finality about it, like there was no other choice. It felt safe, comforting when I was around him. I had never felt that with any of my past boyfriends, Edward included. I sighed.

I would give Jasper a shot, if he wanted it.

But, I was getting ahead of myself. I didn't know for sure that Jasper felt the same way towards me as I did him. He was my rock, the constant in my life. The one thing that didn't change. I laughed slightly at the unintended pun. Even when the Cullens were still here, he was always there, waiting in the wings. He made life after Edward bearable. I was sure that if Jasper hadn't been there, that I would have gotten into a whole bunch of trouble.

The bell rang, then, signaling the end of the school day. I smiled, gathering my things quickly, and shoved them into my bag.

He was leaned up against my truck, his arms folded across his chest. Once he saw me, his face lit up, a smile crossing his face.

"Hey there, Izzy. How were the last of your classes?" He said as I walked up to him, and he wrapped me in another surprise hug.

"Fine, I suppose. Yours?" I asked as he released me.

"They were alright. Do you want to take your truck or my bike? Or do you just want to meet me there?" He asked. How considerate.

"Hmm…As much as I want to be on the back of that bike again," I winked. "Wouldn't it be easier to just meet there?"

He nodded. "I suppose it would, although I wouldn't mind bringing you back to pick up your truck." It was a difficult offer to refuse.

"Nope, I refuse to be a burden. I'll meet you there, Jas." I said as I dug around in my bag, trying to find my keys.

I finally found them, and tossed my bag in the passenger seat.

"Suit yourself then." Jasper said as he climbed on the black Ninja.

The ride was uneventful, following Jasper to his house. When we got there, Peter and Charlotte were gone.

"They just went hunting." Jasper said as we walked inside. I nodded, and sat down on the couch, feeling nervous.

My nervousness must have been affecting him. He began to pace the room. "There's no easy way to say this, Bella. I mean, damn it. That makes it sound bad. It's not bad, I promise, I…" I laughed softly.

"Jasper, just say it."

"I can't just say it…where to begin…"

"How about at the beginning?" I smirked, trying to relieve some of his nervousness.

"No shit Sherlock. There really isn't a beginning. I believe I would have started there to begin with if there was."

"Well, you do generally _begin_ at the _begin_ning." I laughed.

He turned to me and smirked. "You little smartass. Here I am trying to tell you I love you and you're over there smarting off."

I deadpanned. "Wait, what?" Did he seriously just say what I think he said?

"You heard me, Bella. I do."

My mind was racing. So I was right. My feelings were returned. I smiled.

"I do too."

"Well, loving yourself is generally a good practice. Boosts self-confidence and whatnot." He smirked.

"You asshole! You know what I meant!"

"Do I? Maybe you should say it, so I can be sure."

I sighed. "I…Iloveyou." I said in a rush.

"What was that? I couldn't understand you. Speak slower."

"Couldn't understand me my ass, Mr. Vampire with Super Hearing. You understood me perfectly clearly."

He smiled and picked me up from my place on the couch. "I'm glad you do. But there is something else you need to know." He sat down and put me in his lap. "The current means something."

Aha! I knew it! "What does it mean?"

"You know about mates, right? Did Alice ever explain it to you?"

I nodded. "She said that mates were the same thing as soul mates, just with a more animalistic touch. She said that all of the Cullens were mates…even…you two…" My eyes widened, I was taking Alice's mate away from her! I didn't even think about Alice in all of this! I mean, I didn't like the bitch anyway, but this is just something you don't do.

"Bella, Bella. She lied. We weren't mates. I never felt this with her. This current. I've never felt it with anyone else. And for you to be able to feel it as a human means it's very, very strong. So, don't worry." I calmed down slightly. "I'm sure Alice has seen this coming, and she's already gotten over it." He hugged me closer to him, and I nuzzled underneath his chin. "And even if she hasn't gotten over it, it doesn't matter. She can't take you away from me." I smiled. He leaned forward, and kissed me on the lips.

The current surged, flowing between us, leaving no nerve in my body untouched. It erased all doubt in my mind, filling the voids with the feeling of Jasper's love. He broke the kiss, the current ebbing to what it usually was when we were in close proximity. He leaned his forehead on mine, no words were needed then.

Both Jasper and I heard a mysterious giggling from the other side of the door. It was followed by a 'Shhh!' and what sounded like a crack.

"Oww! Bitch! Why the hell did you do that for?"

Jasper sat me on the couch, and went to open the door. I ran and stood behind him. He opened the door to reveal Peter, who was missing an arm, and Charlotte, who was holding said arm menacingly above her head.

"You just had to go and ruin their moment, didn't you, jackass!" She whacked Peter with his arm.

"I'm sorry! Can I have my arm back, now?" She tossed his arm on his chest, and Peter went to re-attaching it. She stepped over him, and walked inside.

"Sorry, guys. I tried to keep him at bay as long as I could. That was really sweet, by the way, Jasper." She went and sat down on the couch, as if none of that had just happened.

Peter looked like a scorned puppy, and drug his feet on the way into the house, after he was done re-attaching his arm. Jasper and I both looked on with bewildered expressions.

This is where I belonged.

Don't hate me! I know it's taken far longer than what is acceptable to get this out, and I'm sorry! This story is just getting harder to write, and I don't know why. It crossed my mind a few times to just give up on it, and I almost did. Anyway, up next is Izzys change! Review!

-Blaize


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